My Philosophy
”I stand for the power to change, I live for the perfect day. I love till it hurts like crazy, I hope for a hero to save me. I stand for the strange and lonely. I believe there’s a better place. I don’t know if the sky is heaven but I pray anyway.” ~ I Stand by Idina Menzel
One question I get asked a lot is, “What is your philosophy? Like, what do you believe in? How do you live your life?” So that is the focus for today’s post. I will be sharing my life philosophy and how I live my life.
Disclaimer: What I believe in might not work for you, and what you believe in might not work for me. This post is not meant to persuade you to change your beliefs - I would not do that because I believe each person is a singular individual and our beliefs should reflect that. This is simply informational. Since I mentioned that everyone is singular, that brings me to my first point…
You are singular.
When I first discovered The Prom musical, Caitlin Kinnunen did a vlog series called “Dance With Me” for Broadway.com. In one of the vlogs, she went around to different cast members asking them questions. One of the questions she asked Beth Leavel (a Queen might I add) was, “What is the best advice you have for a high schooler pursuing musical theatre?” Beth said, “The best advice I got was to remember that you are singular.” I took that advice to heart and adopted it into my own beliefs. Everyone is a singular individual, and our beliefs should reflect that. What I believe shouldn’t be a carbon copy of what someone else does just because they say it’s so. Yes, some beliefs should be unanimous amongst everyone, but core beliefs should reflect our individuality. Life would be pretty dull if everyone and everything were an exact copy of something or someone else.
Know your truth. And live it.
A few years ago, I was badly cyberbullied because I was sharing my experiences with one of my health issues; some people did not like that. So they were accusing me of things that were not true. A close friend of mine told me that “you know your truth, and you shouldn’t let outside forces tell you otherwise.” If you know that something is true for you, live it. Live your truth, and don’t let someone else change your truth, even if someone doesn’t like it.
Stay true to yourself.
Piggybacking off of the previous truth, something important to me is staying true to myself. And in staying true to myself, I can live my most authentic life (more on that in a second). Growing up, I felt a lot of peer pressure to believe in certain things because I was surrounded by people who also believed that way. As I got older, I came to realise that that way of thinking/believing is not right for me as a singular individual. Does that mean I feel that way of thinking/believing is wrong and that everyone should not think that way? Of course not. Everyone should be allowed to think/believe in a way that’s best for them. And we shouldn’t feel pressured to believe that way because someone said it’s so.
Live authentically.
If any of you reading this have spoken to me recently or seen a social media post, I shared that my phrase for 2021 is to “live authentically.” And to be my most authentic self, I must follow the things I mentioned above.
For example, there are people in my life who think that my love for American Girl and pre-teen/teen TV shows is childish and stupid. They definitely wish I would not be so into those things, but if I were to drop my love for them, would I be my most authentic self? No, I would not. A huge part of who I am is my love for American Girl. I learned so many beautiful things from AG as a kid and as an adult (I could do a whole other post on that) that are universal across all ages. Are collecting dolls expensive? Yes. Could I be saving/spending my money for other things? Also yes. But would other things bring me that same level of joy? No. Not even close.
Another example is that my favorite go-to TV show is Girl Meets World. I have never seen a more enjoyable, light-hearted, fun, inspiring, relatable, and wholesome show. It seems to me like all the adult shows are dark with slapstick humour, and the messages are about sex, drugs, BDSM, breakups, etc. I have never been interested in watching shows like that, so why would I change myself just to benefit other people.
Living authentically to me means that you live your life the way you want to live and not the way other people tell you to. I will not change my interests just because someone else doesn’t like them, and you shouldn’t, either.
Make no apologies for who you are.
One part of my personality is that I curse. Now, I know a lot of people who really hate cursing, and I know when to hold back on it; but on the flip side, if I’m having a conversation with you and a curse word falls out (esp if I’m mad), I will not apologize for it. I am not a piece of bread where you can remove the crusts and love the rest. I am a whole package, and that includes my colorful vocabulary. Obviously, I wouldn’t curse around kids, and if you ask me not to say curse words, I’ll try my best not to...but don’t get mad if I do. Make no apologies for who you are; if someone else doesn’t like that, that’s on them - not you.
You are not responsible for other people.
In a recent Facebook ad, I saw this quote, “I am not responsible for the version of me that exists in your head.” Damn, that is so powerful. We all have our own perceptions of people, places, and things that reflect our life and circumstances. We have perceptions of people, and sometimes my perception of someone might be different from my best friend’s perception of the same person. We are not responsible for anyone else’s perception except our own. So if someone has a perception of me that is far off from who I am - it’s not my problem. That is their perception of me and I am not going to make myself small or change who I am to match the version of me that exists in their head. Exist loudly.
You are in your own timeline.
You are not fast. You are not slow. You are perfectly on time.
I first heard those words in a therapy session I was observing, and I really took that message to heart. In society, we’re always told you have to “Graduate high school by 17/18.” “Graduate college by 21/22.” “Have a career by 25.” “Get married by 30.” I cannot tell you how I hate those “milestones.” we’re told we have to meet because if we don’t meet them, we are meant to feel like failures. Those questions don’t include life events such as losing a family member, losing money, a medical diagnosis...a global pandemic, etc., that could make meeting those “milestones” harder. I didn’t graduate college until I was 23, roughly 6 months before my 24th birthday. One of my former roommates, like me, had health challenges in her early 20s, so she was 27, living on campus and just finishing her degree.
That’s also why I absolutely hate and refuse to answer the question, “Where do you see yourself in 5/10/20 years?” Making plans so far ahead of time is pointless and a waste of time because it feeds into the belief that “you’re a failure if you don’t meet those goals.” When I was 18, I saw myself at 23, living away from home in a big city and working on her training to become a therapist. I would have never seen myself at 21/22/23 having many health issues, finishing up her degree online, and graduating in the middle of a pandemic. Do I feel like a failure for my life not being the way I envisioned it when I was 18? No, because I survived a lot of tough shit (keyword there, being survived), and I am following my own timeline, not a society-based one.
I don’t think anyone could have foreseen the global shitstorm that is the COVID-19 pandemic and who knows what the next 5 years will hold so why make concrete plans? Do I have a list of things I want to do in my lifetime? Yes. Do I know when I want to do all these things? No, because I am on my own timeline, and they will happen when I’m ready. These things will not miraculously occur if I don’t work for them, but there is also no set year or age for when I have to check these things off my list.
And that concludes my post on my philosophy. As Sally Brown said in You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown, “some philosophies aren’t for all people.” My philosophy might not be right for you and your philosophy might not be right for me. We should follow the universal truths, but we shouldn’t have carbon-copy beliefs. And we should also respect those who believe in something different than us (which goes along with everything I’ve said about being singular and living authentically).
If you enjoyed this post, don’t forget to give it a like, leave me a comment telling me what a core belief of yours is, and share this post with someone who you think might benefit from it. Sending you all the light and love in this world. See you next time!
