Dealing with Criticism

Welcome back to part III of my Summer Course Survival Guide. This week we’re piggybacking off last week’s post and talking about something a lot of perfectionists struggle with. And that is dealing with criticism.

Imagine being asked if you were blind because you weren't in a perfect line with all the other girls. Next, imagine getting a role you worked SO hard for, only to find out a month later that you aren't good enough and you're being replaced. Now, imagine that all the critiques your dance instructor gives you are directed at you, personally, and not at your dancing. Doesn't feel too good, huh? 

Every dancer deals with a super mean instructor (I know I have). So what do you do when the criticism is either too personal or just plain over the top? Read on for the scoop about dealing with criticism. (credit for this article goes to dancespirit.com)

1. Remember the Reason Why

You go to dance class because you want to get better, correct? Linda Hamilton, a dance psychologist, points out, "to improve in anything, we need feedback to know what is working and what isn't."

Try not to take criticism personally, especially when it relates directly to your technique. Getting negative feedback doesn't mean you aren't talented—even professionals get criticized. The key, says San Francisco Ballet principal Vanessa Zahorian, is to remember that your teacher or coach is on your side. "Sometimes you look at a video and think, 'I wish someone had told me to turn out!' Coaches use pointers to make you look the best you can before you get onstage," she says.

2. Consider the Source

If you're feeling bombarded by criticism, take a moment to prioritize. A technique-related comment from a teacher usually carries more weight than a note from a peer or a parent. Similarly, if you're in rehearsal for a specific piece, the choreographer probably has the final word on how steps are performed.

Technique or performance-related comments differ from remarks about your body; the latter will hurt more, even if they're intended to help you. So, how do you know when to take body-related comments seriously? That's where delivery matters. Suppose your teacher speaks to you in private and respectfully suggests cross-training. In that case, that's worth listening to more than a peer, parent, or overzealous costume mistress commenting that you "must have really enjoyed your birthday cake last week."

Although your teacher or company director is in charge, don't automatically discount advice from other sources. "If you're in a class with a leading dancer who happens to notice something and takes you aside, that's useful, too," Hamilton says. For example, suppose a fellow dancer shares how she overcame a similar technical problem; that might give you a new angle from which you can attack your issue. However, if a note from a peer runs counter to something you're working on with your teacher, speak to your teacher before making the change.

3. Learn when to let go

Your first instinct after getting in-class criticism might be to practice a problematic move repeatedly. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try to incorporate the correction into your body, it isn't going to happen that day. And that's okay! Sleep on it, and look at the issue through fresh eyes later. Though your technical issue may result from something you can't necessarily fix - short Achilles tendons or tight hip sockets - odds are, your body needs time to adjust.

Taking a break to problem-solve isn't the same as giving up. "Think about why something isn't working," Hamilton advises. "Maybe there's a learning curve, and you need to give yourself time to pick it up. Maybe there's a weakness that could be corrected with cross-training. Or maybe it's just an off day, in which case, leave it alone and go back to it later."

Also, remember that being a dancer isn't always about pleasing others. During her run on "So You Think You Can Dance," after several weeks of harsh criticism from the judges, Karla Garcia got a much-needed reminder of why she was there. "The week I was kicked off," she says, "Desmond Richardson was performing. Before I went on to dance my solo, I was disheartened and asked him, 'What do I do? Everyone's watching.' Desmond said, 'You're a performer. You have to block all that out. They don't exist. This time is about you taking the stage.' I went on after that and gave the best performance [of my time on the show]. I wish I had thought about just enjoying being onstage from the very beginning!" 

4. Be Kind to Yourself

Handling criticism with maturity and positivity requires inner strength. You have to try to love yourself as you are and forgive yourself when something isn't progressing as fast as you'd hoped. Easier said than done, right? But think of it this way: As a dancer, you're never done learning. Once you overcome one challenge, you'll discover another.

"It's important to use the drive for perfection in a productive way," Hamilton says. "Excessive self-criticism can sabotage your goals by making you push through pain or hate everything you do. After a while, this often leads to depression and injuries." Instead of becoming frustrated, reframe the issue by learning to work within your body's limitations. Hamilton recommends asking your physician for an orthopedic screening to know how your body can perform to its best potential.

As your training progresses, remember that you are your most important critic. "Stay humble, but know that what you think of yourself is the thing that matters most," Garcia says. "That has helped me develop a tough skin throughout my career. People have different tastes, and there will always be someone with something negative to say. Just be your best dancer—and your best person—and enjoy taking the stage."

 Final Thoughts:

Criticism is hard to deal with, and we're all our worst critics, so always take it with a grain of salt, especially if you're sensitive to things along those lines (like I am). When I was younger, I hated it when people criticized me. It always made me feel like a horrible person, especially if said person's critiques were correct. To deal with that, I started looking at the context of who and why this person criticized me. I was more inclined to listen if I was close to that person and trusted them. But if they were personally attacking me, being extremely rude, and saying things that weren't true, I wouldn't listen to a word they said. But above all, believe that you are an amazing person and remind yourself of that.

And that concludes my tips for dealing with criticism. Don’t forget to check out my previous posts on Perfectionism and my Summer Course Survival Guide 1.0. Check back next week to learn about how to pick up choreography quickly.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you like, comment, and share this post. Follow me on social media (listed below). As always, sending you all the light and love in this world. See you next time!