Dark Night of the Soul
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
We all go through a phenomenon called Dark Night of the Soul (DNS). We can find repose in religious thought, a respite in spiritual philosophy, or a reprieve with professional help. But this feeling always has a way of finding us - even in our weakest hour when no one is around to help us.
DNS has similar characteristics to depression, but it goes down deeper than that because DNS is primarily a spiritual and existential crisis that can’t be “cured” with therapy. This is one journey we must go on alone, even though DNS gives us feelings of hopelessness, unease, and despair. Especially when we realize that DNS is interpersonal work.
History of DNS
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he’s traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.”
What happens during a DNS
DNS isn’t entirely a religious crisis - one in which our faith is shaken. It’s where everything that makes us unique is shaken to the core. We lose all meaning in life, feeling out of touch with The Divine, feeling betrayed or forsaken by life, and having no solid ground to stand on.
Some questions that may come to mind during a DNS are, “Why am I alive at all?”, “Why do good people suffer?”, “What is truth?”, “Is there a God or afterlife?”, “What is the point of living?” Some people say, “The point is to serve God.” while others say, “The point is to make a difference,” or “There is no point; you make your own meaning.”
What the hell are we supposed to do with hundreds of questions like these? How do we determine the “right” answers from the “wrong” answers. I tell you - your wounded heart will say to you *your* answers.
“Your wounded heart has been calling you, and you will get the answers if you answer to the call.”
No one has the answers for you - you have to create the solutions for yourself, and one person’s answers might be completely different from yours. A DNS is different for anyone.
What we need to do…
The DNS cycle is a vicious one that we must break if we’re going to break free from this phenomenon that’s been holding us, hostage. We seem to think that the mind is the solution to our problems; utilizing the mind will release us from the original prison created by the mind that needs to quantify, measure and define everything.
What we, unfortunately, need to do, is to question the actual questions we are asking and pursuing the answers to. Instead of asking, “What is the point of living?” try asking, “Why must there be a point to living?”
Before any growth or healing can occur, there must be a process of destruction and complete annihilation of everything you thought would bring you happiness. For me personally, the destruction and total annihilation of the thing that brought me joy was dancing. Dancing was my world for so long, and when I lost dance, I went into a DNS for a long time. It was only when my mind got healthier that I could rebuild my world and the things that make me happy.
Everything we were conditioned to believe would bring us happiness, such as money, a good IQ, a successful career, marriage, etc., is a lie. It’s a lie because whenever you pursue happiness, you are immediately losing touch with the fact that happiness is already here, right now, in this very second, without you having to do or question anything. Happiness is.
The mind is a product of our evolutionary development: it protests us and structures our existence, and through it, we can experience the beauty of life, but to truly come to any closure during our Dark Nights, we must understand that the mind is limited, narrow and finite - and therefore so is our reasoning.
Why must there be a “point” to living other than the experience of being alive in all of its fascinating and shocking diversity? Why must we “pursue” or “find” something rather than simply experiencing each moment fully and entirely in the simplicity of Being. Living in the present moment will significantly help us with simply experiencing each moment fully and completely in the simplicity of Being.
I hope you found this more soulful and raw post interesting. I love writing about things like this, and this is a three-part series, so be on the watch for follow-up posts in the coming months.
As always, make sure you like, comment, and share this post. Follow me on social media (listed below) and join my mailing list to be updated about all future posts. As always, sending you all the light and love in this world.
