Enneagram 6 + Daily Practices
Hey guys!!! Happy February. I hope everyone had a good month. I started and finished filming A Little More this past Sunday. It has been a challenging experience but so rewarding. The character of Alma has become the most important role I’ve ever played. I think a lot of people with depression can relate to her. Screen acting is so much different than the stage acting I’ve grown up doing. It’s definitely out of my comfort zone, but this is something I’ve dreamt of doing since I was a kid. All my childhood dreams came true here. I don’t have a set date of when the show will be released, but once I know more, I will, of course, share that with you.
I am so excited to finally have this blog post written. It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been working on it for a while now, but due to my subbing job and other life things, I forgot I had to finish writing. It’s about the Enneagram 6 Type, which I also heavily identify with. This is an updated version of the Enneagram 4 blog post I wrote last year. Funny enough, Yelena Belova is an Enneagram 6s, and we all know how much I love her. Yes, I did realise I was an Enneagram 6, too, when I was learning more about that character. Learning about this character helped me realise/put a name to many things about myself. Am I mad about it? Absolutely not. It’s funny when a fictional (or not-so-fictional) character helps you grow.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “Whaaaat? This is craaazzzy. Selene doesn’t know your Enneagram type can’t change.” I do know that, and I fully disagree with it. I believe that as you grow and mature, it can change along with you. I was a massive Enneagram 2 in University, and I am clearly not anymore.
I’ve learned lately that the tests aren’t always accurate, and this is one “personality test” where you should read up on all 9 types and decide for yourself. I did that recently, and while I still relate to many of the Enneagram 4 traits I wrote about last year, I have also gotten very close test results on being a 6. I felt very called out when reading up on being an Enneagram 6. So I thought writing an update to that post would be a good idea. So let’s get into it.
Background:
There are 9 Enneagram types, and each type has 2 different wings. Each type and wing type has a name. I’m an Enneagram 6 - The Loyalist. For my wings, I am a 6w7 - The Confidant. It should come as no surprise to all the people who know me that if I could sum up my personality into one well-known fictional character, it would be Yelena Belova from Black Widow. Yelena is a 6w7 - The Confidant .
Note: To find your wing, it’s the numbers on either side of your type. So if you’re an Enneagram 6, you can either be a 6w5 or a 6w7. You cannot be a 6w2 or a 2w6.
Characteristics of an Enneagram 6 -
Basic fear - Losing their support system/security, “aka fear of abandonment.”
Basic Desire - To have security/support.
Wings - 6w5 - “The Guardian ” OR 6w7 - “The Confidant”
Key motivations - Want to have security, be supported by others, get the reassurance of affirmations from others, to fight against anxiety/insecurities.
Strengths - (1) making responsible choices, (2) honouring commitments to people and plans, (3) protecting and caring for others, (4) thinking from different perspectives, (5) ability to consider logic and emotion.
Weaknesses - (1) difficulty controlling anxious thoughts, (2) expecting the worst, (3) fear making important decisions/life choices, (4) high levels of self-doubt/insecurity.
Good careers - paralegal, admin assistant, caregiver, nurse, professor.
Selene’s notes -
Strengths
I’ve always been the responsible friend in my group. I’ve never once done anything remotely illegal or rebellious; that’s just not me. I always try to get my friends to be responsible too.
My biggest pet peeve is people cancelling plans on me, so I always try my best to honour my plans/commitments. Sometimes it gets complicated with CI, so sometimes I have to either re-work plans (such as getting tea to-go and having a friend come to me instead of going out or, when worse comes to worst - postpone the plan (which I hate). I always feel bad when I have to postpone, but I’ve learned that pushing myself too far makes me feel even worse.
I am very protective of my closest friends and care for them deeply. I am always mindful of my friends’ triggers. If I know something will trigger them, such as a movie or TV show, I suggest they don’t watch it. So if a trigger of theirs comes up in conversation, I ask them if said topic would trigger them before proceeding.
Thinking from different perspectives is a good thing. Whenever my friends come to me for advice, I try to get them to think from different perspectives. I do my best to think from other people’s views, too, because it helps me learn and understand people better.
Weaknesses
Listening to logic is quite challenging. I am very emotional, and often thinking logically is hard. The best way to consider logic is to talk to someone more logical than I am. Usually, that’s my mum. She’s very logical and can help me figure out the more challenging logical things.
I am a very anxious person. Everyone knows this about me. It’s gotten way better over the years. I’m not as worried as I once was. But once I’m anxious about something, there’s no stopping it. Combine anxiety with a deep fear of the thing, and it’s dangerous.
I expect the worst a lot which makes my anxiety worse. Expecting the worst gets in my way, and I’m slowly working on doing things anyways.
Security
This is something that’s always been important to me in many different ways. Here are some examples.
Friendships
Abandonment is a core fear of mine. I’ve been left by many friends over the years, which has always been so hard on me as they are my support system and security. I’ve sometimes omitted/been scared to tell friends certain things about me because I fear they would leave me. I always need reassurance from the people I call close friends that they won’t leave me. I can be very guarded, so sometimes it’s hard to get to know me, but when I do tell you dark things about me, things that I would understand people would leave me over, I always make jokes like, “you can go ahead and leave me now” or, “I don’t like telling people somethings about me because all they’ll do is scream and run in the other direction.”
When I do make friends, I am loyal to the core. You could tell me basically anything, and I won’t leave. There have been very few instances where I have been the one to go, and when I do, it’s because that person was toxic to me.
Always prepared
Going along with security, I need it in other forms, too, such as being prepared for anything. I have this big Glass Ladder purse that I’ve lovingly nicknamed my Mary Poppins back because it holds so much stuff. From medical supplies to feminine products (even though we all know I don’t need the latter), lotion, eye drops, a phone charger, a spare contacts case, hair ties, chapstick, multiple lipsticks, perfume, etc. I am prepared for almost anything, and that is also my security.
Out and about
Whenever I go out, I am also very observant of my surroundings, from the people around me to the nearest exit. I also run through different scenarios to know what to do if anything goes south. I’ll admit, all my time reading spy novels comes into play here.
My daily practices as an Enneagram 6
Morning routine
I thrive off having a set routine. My routine looks a lot different from years ago. When I get up, the first thing I do is splash ice-cold water on my face. Splashing cold water on your face is a great way to wake you up. The colder, the better. I want it to feel like I am rubbing Russian snow on my face. Then I typically take Bella out, and while she’s out, I grab my morning coffee and grab breakfast. I take my coffee upstairs, do my AM skincare, make my bed, do my daily makeup routine, and change into street clothes. While doing all that, I am listening to my worship music playlist. These songs are essential to me. After that, I will open my curtains and shades to bring sunlight into my room. Lastly, I will go through my devotional (Queers The Word currently) or my non-fiction book (101 Essays That Will Change Your Life).
Avoid things that make me anxious.
I’ve had anxiety pretty much my whole life. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been identifying the things that make me anxious, so I can avoid them. Due to the gastrointestinal issues I’ve had since primary school, my anxiety is mostly food related. (It has nothing to do with an eating disorder, so don’t even go there with me). I was diagnosed with gastroparesis when I was nineteen, and my anxiety mostly surrounds my symptoms of GP (such as nausea) and the foods that trigger a flare. Some of those include dairy, meat, and eggs. So essentially, I’m close to vegan, but not quite. I prefer to say I’m usually okay if the egg is cooked in something, but I can’t eat straight-up eggs (i.e., fried, scrambled, etc.). Dairy is hit or miss if it’s cooked in something. Usually, when I cook, I substitute dairy milk for oat milk.
Another thing that makes me anxious is feeling nauseous/puking. So again, I avoid things that make me feel that way. Roller coasters, too much alcohol, looking down when being driven somewhere.
Staying on top of my health
Along with the section above, one thing that always makes me anxious is my health issues and feeling any symptoms from it (i.e., heat flashes, nausea, throwing up, fatigue). To keep that anxiety down, I stay on top of my health. I wash my hands a lot, I still don’t take my mask off in public, I take my meds as directed, and on time with my regime (I also make sure to get refills as soon as I can because the thought of being without any of my meds brings on so much more anxiety). I try to drink a lot of water (the key word there is “try”), and I definitely get my appropriate amount of sleep.
Words of Affirmation
Affirmations. This one is one of the most important daily practices. I need all the positive reinforcement from my friends/family and from myself. I regularly tell people I love them (and need to hear it back). Sometime last year, I started looking up some daily affirmations I could write down, and for months I have been doing just that. My overall mindset is slowly being transformed by these affirmations. I’m starting to really believe them and see them working their magic in my life.
An example was when my health/mindset was not good, I used to have this “dream” as I would fall asleep. I dreamed I was sick in the hospital, and all the people I needed love and support from were there with me. It was comforting because I didn’t get much of the love and support I needed when my CI was at its worst. As I got better and started working on getting past all the bullshit that happened during The Blip, this “dream” would not go away, making me sad. Two affirmations are, “I let go of all the false stories I make up in my head.” and “I release all past aliases who no longer serve my highest good.” After a while, when I would have that dream (only in states of poor mental health), I would hear my subconscious repeating those affirmations. That shows me that these affirmations work and that my subconscious likes them. I’ve also found these affirmations helpful when memories of similar events from The Blip are triggered.
And that concludes my very long post on the Enneagram 6 type. I hope you all learned something about Enneagram 6 from the post and some things about me. If you enjoyed this post, make sure you like, comment, and share this post. Follow me on social media (listed below). As always, sending you all the light and love in this world. See you next time!
