Fear of Rejection?
Hello everyone. Today, I’m going to talk to you about something I’ve dealt with as a performer and a bit in my personal life. And that is the fear of rejection. In this post, you will understand the fear of rejection, why people fear rejection, signs that this might be a fear of yours, my experiences with it, and how to overcome it.
What is the fear of rejection?
By definition, the fear of rejection is: “The fear of rejection involves the dread and avoidance of being shamed, judged negatively, abandoned or ostracised from one’s peers. Those who fear rejection often go to great lengths to ensure they blend in and are accepted by those around them.”
Now, why do we fear rejection? Here are some reasons why one might have a fear of rejection.
You fear being alone and isolated from others
You’re scared of having your worst fears confirmed, i.e., that you’re unlovable, stupid, ugly, worthless, a failure, etc.
You fear having old trauma triggered, i.e., feelings of abandonment from childhood
You’re scared of the end product, i.e., plunging into depression, anxiety, self-loathing, etc.
Take a few moments to reflect on why you may fear rejection. What is it that you’re terrified of? Try fast-forwarding to the feelings and thoughts you may have after being rejected.
Like with most things, there are signs you might fear rejection. Here are some signs that might help you figure out if this is a fear of yours.
You often struggle to share your opinion about things for fear of being judged and rejected.
You fear standing out and being different, so you try to blend in.
You lack assertiveness and can’t seem to say “no.” You say yes to everything.
You’re a people-pleaser.
You’re incredibly self-conscious and aware of what people think of you. You need to get validation from those around you.
You don’t feel equal with others. You may feel like a fraud in your own life. This is called “imposter syndrome.””
You don’t have a strong sense of personal identity.
You’re always wanting to be like someone else instead of being yourself. (See number 6)
You say and do things to be accepted, even if you disagree with them. You don’t have a strong sense of your own morals/ideas.
You don’t like to open up to people.
You’re kind of a loner with low self-esteem. You frequently struggle with self-loathing and critical thoughts.
My experiences
. I’ve dealt with this a lot as an actor, and I think all my actor friends can agree with this. We love what we do and put our heart and soul into every performance, including auditions (because an audition is just another experience to perform). It’s hard when you want a role, but the casting director says “no.” I remember, in 2018, auditioning for a play called Falling by Deanna Jent. I was one of four actors left for the role of Lisa, the sister. Ultimately, I was not cast, and the part went to one of my closest friends. That rejection hurt me more than any of the others I’ve experienced. Not only did the rejection hurt, but I was so jealous of my friend.
Overcome it
Overcoming rejection is hard. Healthline has a great article on Overcoming rejection. Here are 10 tips Healthline said on overcoming rejection.
Remember that it happens to everyone
Validate your feelings
Look for the learning opportunity
Remind yourself of your worth
Keep things in perspective
Figure out what really scares you about rejection
Face your fear
Reject negative self-talk
Lean on your support network
Talk to a professional
And there you have it! I hope you found this post helpful and informative. As always, don’t forget to give this post a like, leave me a comment telling me what your biggest takeaway was, and share this post with someone who you think might benefit from it. Sending you all the light and love in this world. See you next time!
